


epic gaymer moment

by FREE_FREEMAN



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Because I Said So :), Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Kissing, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Canon, Sharing a Bed, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, also first time writing a kiss so ayyyy, benrey and gordon are both touch starved lmao, gordon has adhd, they just want. contact. affection., those last two aren't really. important? but they happen so ghdjsgd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26625193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FREE_FREEMAN/pseuds/FREE_FREEMAN
Summary: did i confess to my first girlfriend almost exactly the same as benrey did? yesam i ashamed? no :)also they were both wearing sweatpants and sweatshirts (gordon changed earlier and benrey just. came over like that) so dw they're both comfortable theyre not just gonna sleep in jeans :)
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 27
Kudos: 264





	epic gaymer moment

Benrey cackled as Gordon flung his hands up in the air and dropped his controller on the table in front of him. The physicist buried his face in his hands and let out a loud groan. Benrey had just beat his ass in Smash for the 50th time that night, and he meant it when he yelled, “I am absolutely  _ filled _ with rage!”

Benrey only laughed harder, somehow managing to ask, “why? why though? you could be filled with anything else like mayonnaise?”

Gordon snorted, and then threw his head back and laughed harder than Benrey had ever seen. He laughed until his face was red and there were tears in his eyes. He looked so… carefree. So different to how he had back in the hellhole they called Black Mesa. Benrey felt warmth bubble up in his chest and he struggled to hold it down, knowing it was the sweet voice and knowing  _ exactly _ what color it was. Gordon sighed, still giggling, and leaned against the alien’s shoulder. Oh, lord, he was going to kill him.

“God, what goes on inside your head?” he muttered.

Benrey quite literally swallowed his feelings before answering; “nothing. it’s tv static baby. occasionally a nice breeze blows through. the lights are not on up there.” Gordon snorted again, mumbling something about how that “sounds about right” before yawning. “bitch baby getting tired? little baby man sleepy?”

“Yeah, little bit, it’s getting pretty damn late, man.” His smile faded, and his next words were quiet. Subdued. “Hey… can I ask you something, Benrey?”

The alien didn’t know what was coming next, but it made him nervous. He responded, “yeah, go ahead,” and started another game against a random CPU to distract himself. Gordon was silent for another minute, playing with the strings of his hoodie, eyes flicking to the TV every few seconds. He let Benrey finish the match before taking a deep breath and speaking:

“Was anything you said in Black Mesa a joke?”

What the fuck did that mean? Of course Benrey fucking joked, what? “yeah? duh, dude, i’m a master funnyman, i told so many jokes. remember feetman? god, feetman was good.” He let out a laugh that was more reassurance for himself than anything else and started another game.

Gordon’s mouth pressed into a thin line and Benrey felt his palms grow sweaty. Oh, god, did he fuck up? Did he say something wrong?

“N… no that’s… not what I meant.” He sat up straight, facing forward and deliberately trying not to look at Benrey. “What I meant was… the joking about me⏤if it even  _ was _ joking.”

Benrey narrowed his eyes, glancing at the man sitting beside him. Gordon was playing with his hair, tugging on it and twisting it around in his fingers. “you gotta elaborate, bro, pretty much all my jokes were about you.”

Gordon let out a loud groan, hunching over and burying his hands in his hair, working at it with his fingers. “Don’t do this shit to me, man!” The alien was about to ask what the hell he was talking about when the physicist’s shoulders drooped and his voice was quiet once more. “All the fuckin’...”⏤he put on a monotone voice in an attempt at an impression⏤“‘likin’ the view from back here’, that shit.” He pulled his legs up onto the couch and hugged his knees, hiding his face behind them. “Was it all a joke or what?”

Oh.

Benrey could swear he felt his heart stop. How the fuck do you explain this? “i-i mean… yeah? they were jokes, but…” He beat the CPU and set his controller down on the couch beside him. Fuck, feelings were hard. “but uh… also kinda. not?” He scratched at his jaw, trying to find the right words to say what he wanted.

They sat in awful, awful quiet for a long while. Benrey appreciated that Gordon was letting him take his time, but he could barely think with this deafening silence. Fuck it, improv is winprov.

“okay so uh…” Benrey didn’t miss the way the physicist jumped when he started talking, and it made him feel a little bit bad, but he just barrelled onward. “y… um, pretty much everything i said about you was uh… was meant as a joke, but… it maybe kinda sometimes wasn’t?”

Gordon narrowed his eyes at him and the guard wanted to shrivel up and die, holy shit, why was he looking at him like that? “Explain.”

“haha, what if i didn’t though?”

“Then nothing gets resolved and we’ll be stuck in a horrible awkward purgatory every time we see each other.” Fuck, he had him there.

Benrey inhaled, hyping himself up for what he was about to say. “okay, uh… gimme a sec.” He took a couple more breaths, before thinking, “fuck it,” and forgoing words entirely.

He closed his eyes and let out a beautiful technicolor stream of sweet voice, a million shades of pink and blue filling the air. He let out all the feelings he’d wanted to since he first fell in love with Gordon. The man wanted an explanation, and he sure as hell got one.

Well… that was the intention. Benrey finished his song, curling in on himself to avoid eye contact. He thought that was concise enough, he practically just ripped open his chest and handed over his heart. But Gordon still didn’t understand.

“What… what does pink to blue mean?”

Oh. That’s right. Gordon wasn’t as fluent in sweet voice as Tommy was. Benrey was practically backed into a corner. He really did just have to say it outright, didn’t he?

“it… um… it uh…” Fuck, his voice was failing him. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, there was no way he could say it out loud. He pulled out his phone, opened up his notes app, and typed the 3 simple words he couldn’t say.

“i love you”

He passed the phone to Gordon, pulling his chullo over his eyes and pulling his hood over the hat, tightening the strings for good measure. He didn’t want to look at anything right now, especially not Gordon. He hummed quietly to himself to block everything out.

He was having relative success in his attempt at astral projecting away from the apartment when he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. When he refused to let himself out of his cloth comfort-prison, he felt arms wrap around him.

“Hey, Benrey.” He felt something being gently placed in his lap. He slowly, begrudgingly, took off his hood and pulled his hat out of his eyes and looked down at the device. His confession was still there, but it was joined by another.

“I love you too”

When he turned to look up at Gordon, he was pleasantly surprised to earn a kiss to the forehead. He couldn’t stop the wave of pink that forced its way out. It hit Gordon right in the face and the physicist spluttered for a moment, wiping at his mouth and laughing. “What the hell, man?”

Benrey flushed, burying his face in Gordon’s chest with a whine, wrapping his arms around the man’s torso. He was  _ warm _ , and Benrey absolutely melted in his touch. He wanted to stay like this forever. Theoretically,  _ he _ could, but then he remembered that Gordon  _ couldn’t _ . Cuddling with a dead man was… not something he was very keen on doing, to say the least.

So he pulled away, not too far, and stared the physicist directly in the eyes, searching for any trace of regret or falsehood. “you… you mean it?” Gordon let out a laugh, and instead of responding, he simply leaned in.

The first kiss was over far too quickly, so Benrey chased when Gordon pulled away. He closed his eyes and brought his hands up to hold the physicist’s face. Gordon’s lips were soft against his and he wanted to cry. This was all he ever wanted, and it was his. Benrey finally got his way.

When they parted, Gordon almost immediately let out a yawn. Oh, right. It was late as shit. Benrey glanced at his phone and his suspicions were confirmed. Yeah, it was almost 1 am. Gordon stood up, stretching, and extended his hand. Benrey took it without hesitation.

He led them to his bedroom. The guard’s eyes widened. “haha movin’ a little fast, aren’t we?” He could practically hear Gordon’s eyeroll.

“Shut up, man, we’re just going to bed.”

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.

“w-we’re sharing a bed?”

Gordon snorted, turning to face him. “I mean… yeah?” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “I’m not gonna make you sleep on the couch and there’s absolutely no way you’re sleeping in Joshua’s room. This is… kinda the only other place.” He walked over to the bed and climbed under the covers. After he got himself situated, he opened his arms as if asking for a hug. Benrey didn’t think twice before doing a running leap at Gordon, absolutely flattening the other man and knocking the wind out of him.

“Hhhholy fuck, why would you do that?” Gordon wheezed.

“‘m brainless. i got nothin’ going on up here. you think i think about my actions? false, i’ve never thought about a single thing i’ve ever done.” Benrey nuzzled into the physicist’s chest, totally definitely not purring, not at all (he was, and it was loud).

The last thing he registered before he fell asleep was a gentle kiss to the top of his head and the most beautiful words he’d ever heard. “Good night, Benrey. I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> did i confess to my first girlfriend almost exactly the same as benrey did? yes  
> am i ashamed? no :)  
> also they were both wearing sweatpants and sweatshirts (gordon changed earlier and benrey just. came over like that) so dw they're both comfortable theyre not just gonna sleep in jeans :)


End file.
